Sunday, March 27, 2011

Feelings on baby # 2

I haven't really been good about documenting this pregnancy for some reason. I'm not sure why that is. Part of it is because this time round I'm busy with Kaylee and don't have time to read baby center three times a day, spend 3 hours sitting at the computer searching for baby names and other stuff like that. I also need to take more pictures of my growing belly because I only have 9 weeks (or less) left.

My feelings about this pregnancy at the beginning were kind of mixed. I had a miscarriage after Kaylee and before this one, so I was super excited when I found out we were expecting again. I didn't want to get my hopes up so I tired not to get too crazy about it but I had a good feeling that this one was a keeper :o). When we found out that baby #2 is a girl, I was even happier. Not that I wouldn't want a baby boy, but to think that Kaylee will have a sister to play with is a great feeling because I have one and she truly is my best of friends. Sure we got into fights growing up, but believe me when I tell you that there is no better friend for better or for worse that your own sister. I love mine to death, and I hope that Kaylee will feel about her little sister the same way.

I also had a few moments where I felt like I was "cheating" on Kaylee in the sense that she has been my only one for 2 years now, I almost never go anywhere without her (including shower), she is with me every second of every day and has no idea that that's about to change big times. I really hope that it's not going to be hard for her to learn to "share" me. I'm planning on including her into everything I do with this little girl, like baths and stuff so she never feels left out.

And of course some days I just feel so overwhelmed thinking about packing, moving to another state, flying with Kaylee alone (we've done it a few times before but never at 9 months pregnant haha) and unpacking just 4 weeks before my due date, getting a new doctor, adjusting to having two kids and not really having much help with it. Ryan is going to be working 6 long days a week like every summer but he will stay home for a week after the baby is born which I am so thankful for. His mom is also planning to come for a week after he goes back to work which I'm excited about because I honestly can't imagine what I would do it alone. I know there is a lot of women who have even more kids and have to just do everything by themselves, but looking at Kaylee's schedule for the past few months where she doesn't like to nap and stays up at least until midnight and think that I'm gonna have to wake up with the baby every 2 hours all night long and stay up with Kaylee all day long drives me into a panic mode. I'm sure I'll figure out a way how to do it all ( I don't really have any other options) but no matter how hard it is going to be, I know it will be all worth it. I really am so excited to welcome this little girl into our family in just a few weeks, hold and kiss her and introduce her to her big sister. I know us girls are gonna have so much fun together this summer. We'll miss having daddy around most of the time but we'll be one big happy family when we'll be all together.

One thing I'm sooo not looking forward to is to have a post-baby body in the middle of the summer. There isn't a day that goes by without me thinking about being down in the hot south and not really being able to wear much to cover up my jiggle belly and all the extra fat after the delivery. It wasn't as hard with Kaylee since she was born in February, and this time round I'm really stressing about it. I'm sure though that once I see that little bundle of joy, I won't care as much (at least I hope so...).

And last, but not least, I have fallen in love with my husband even more lately. I have always loved him to pieces, but it's just kind of different, better if you will when I'm pregnant. When I see him help me clean up because it's hard for me to bend over for me these days, or he paints my toe nails because I can't reach them anymore, puts my socks on (for the same reason), tells me to go take a nap when he has a minute to watch Kaylee and many other things, I just want to squeeze him and never let go. It means so much to me that he loves me and Kaylee so much, takes care of us and spends every break he takes from studying and writing papers with us. I love him to the moon and back and I hope I let him know that every day.

So, that's all for now. I hope you all have a great week and that Ryan can finish his 35 page paper on time and nail it!!

1 comment:

jenna said...

ugh. seriously you have so much of a better attitude then i would in that situation! moving 4 weeks before your due date? i gave birth 4 weeks before my due date!! be careful! i worry for you. should i come with you?! haha :)

seriously LET ME KNOW what i can do to help! have you found a doc yet?